Tackling body image: Why my ‘fat days’ and ‘skinny days’ need to stop

If you’re a regular reader of the blog, you will have no doubt been witness to one of my many brain dumps. If you don’t know what these brain dumps entail, I basically write down my thoughts and feelings on a certain topic without editing the post, so literally just writing down my pure thoughts. I’ve done plenty of these posts and you guys seem to love them for whatever reason, so I thought I would start writing them up again. Not only is this a very therapeutic exercise for myself and one highly recommend to others, but some of you have said in the past how insightful these posts are, and how it encouraged you to think more in depth about the topic. This week, I’m tackling body image, so strap yourself in and let’s get talking!

Fancy reading another one of my infamous brain dumps? Well look no further than my post about Anxiety and Fear of the Future!

So, I am around a UK size 14. I say ‘around’ purely because my size changes depending on the store, but hey that’s a topic for another day. I am what you call curvy. I’m not overweight, nor am I super lean, I am literally slap bang in the middle. I am often in the mindset of losing weight, or at least attempting to maintain my current weight (if you’re in the same boat, check out my post on how to achieve a healthy lifestyle) but on the whole I am quite content with my weight and body. That is until I have noticed a few patterns emerging…

I don’t own a full length mirror so I don’t tend to look at my full body as regular as others may do. I tend to use reflections or public bathroom mirrors in order to see how my body looks as a whole. For some, this is utter madness, but I always thought that if I were to have a full length mirror, I would be constantly looking at my body and tearing it to pieces in my mind. It’s not that case that I’m disgusted when I see my body, I am very comfortable in my skin and I don’t try and avoid looking at myself, but I know that if I were to have a full length mirror in my room to view my body at any given second, I know it would do more damage than good. I would constantly nit pick and highlight areas which I am not loving.

The problem with my body image starts in my mind. I can wake up one day and feel super skinny, and as a result feel great for the entire day, whereas other days, I look in the mirror (I do own many mirrors, even if they aren’t full length!) and feel flabby and bumpy, and I spend the rest of the day feeling sluggish and subconsciously hating myself. Yet to anyone else, I look exactly the same. The only thing that has changed is my perception of myself and I seem to think I can jump 4 dress sizes in a single day, just because I opted to have a bag of crisps with lunch.

All of this is of course in my head and it needs to stop. I am a healthy person who enjoys a treat from time to time and I shouldn’t beat myself up over it. I have a somewhat healthy lifestyle. Yes it could be better, yet each day I judge myself on whether I’m fat or skinny based on my eating habits that day.

We all indulge from time to time, we’re human after all. We all feel bloated or sluggish now and again, but the key is to moderate this. I can eat a big meal as part of a family celebration for example, and feel like I’ve put on two stone and spend the rest of the week thinking I’m the size of a house, which is ridiculous. I need to stop judging myself, I seem to be my worst critic.

The thing is, if I was on the outside looking in and someone was to tell me this is how they are feeling, I would think they were crazy! I would tell them to stop worrying and to enjoy their lives, and not worry about what they put in their mouths so much. As long as you’re being healthy, it doesn’t matter if the scales are presenting the most perfect number. Does it matter if your tummy is slightly bloated from time to time? Or that you haven’t got the most slim thighs in the world? NO! So why can I not tell myself that?

I think there are much bigger things that I can stress about, and my body image shouldn’t even be an issue. It’s all about self-love, which is something I have mentioned time and time again on the blog (check out my blog post about self-love here.) It just goes to show that the person behind these solutions is far from perfect, and that these solutions don’t happen overnight. Let’s kick unhealthy body images in the bum. Don’t worry if you’re too big or too skinny, you need to work on how you view yourself and tackle whatever challenges you need to face, all while keeping an honest smile on your face.

This post may be a load of nonsense, but I hope that at least one person reads this and relates in some shape or form. Let’s all be a bit more positive and let’s get talking about healthy body image!

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